Ny times article on online dating

13-Oct-2017 13:27

JDate, especially, would seem to be one of the success stories of online dating. Stories about happily married couples who met on the site.

And last year, with the acquisition of JSwipe, it branched out into the Tinder-like market of users who swipe left or right to find love.“Every Jew knows someone who knows someone who met on JDate,” said Aaron Young, Spark’s former vice president for business development and strategic partnerships.

Here are my search criteria: I’m looking for men in my area (no farther than three miles away, because traveling is such a hassle and I take too many cabs as it is) who are anywhere from two years younger than me up to 10 years older (going on the assumption that women mature more quickly than men). He is six years younger than I am (way too young for me) and he lived in Harlem (that’s a cab fare from my home in Brooklyn) and he’s a writer/comedian (warning flags coming at me from every direction). He was online dating, too, but I never would’ve found him on an app.

And for goodness’ sake, my friends would tell me, find a man who isn’t a writer — they’re way too emotionally unstable. He wasn’t on my metaphorical vision board, but he fit into my real life in ways I never could’ve imagined. (He likes David Foster Wallace.)In 2015 I packed up all of my books and we moved in together — we used Street Easy to find an apartment that was totally mediocre, but we were happy enough there.

But, as can sometimes be the case with online daters themselves, all is not what it seems.

Since 2011, Spark Networks has been led by a rotating array of chief executives — four over five years.

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Here, my criteria were much less intensive: I was just looking for a puppy or a young rescue dog that was apartment-size, healthy and sweet.That may be the case, but according to Spark Networks’ 2015 filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the number of paid subscribers to its Jewish networks declined to around 65,000 last year from a little over 85,000 in 2012.Its total for all networks dropped by more than 55,000 people, to under 204,000.Do consumers want to find a special someone or just anyone?Internet dating used to mean filling out questionnaires to match interests and culture.

Here, my criteria were much less intensive: I was just looking for a puppy or a young rescue dog that was apartment-size, healthy and sweet.

That may be the case, but according to Spark Networks’ 2015 filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the number of paid subscribers to its Jewish networks declined to around 65,000 last year from a little over 85,000 in 2012.

Its total for all networks dropped by more than 55,000 people, to under 204,000.

Do consumers want to find a special someone or just anyone?

Internet dating used to mean filling out questionnaires to match interests and culture.

It’s risky not to have data, to be without numbers you can plug in when you’re looking for something or someone to love. But I hope that our guts remain true to our hearts, and in this world measured by clicks and stars and highest customer reviews, we remember that some rules are made to be broken in the most delightful of ways.