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23-May-2018 02:30

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris bites frost Remember the Soviet Union?

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris bites frost Remember the Soviet Union?Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.