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Write me a letter if you don't understand, or if you need more information about any part of this article. There is a behavior pattern which can be found in many situations in everyday life -- religion, business, school, creative arts.(If you went through these experiences because you were multiple -- or were subjected to them by someone who was or claimed to be multiple -- read this, and then read Multi-Specific Abuse by Rogan of L. It is a kind of toxic manipulation, and the people who do it are sometimes called malignant narcissists or charismatic manipulators.You may be told that you need to be "broken down to be built back up".Your natural feelings of being scared, disturbed, anxious or feeling that this just isn't right -- they tell you those feelings are always your fault, caused by weakness or failure of character on your part. Or it's because of entities -- something evil in the spirit world -- if that's part of the group dogma.The key is seeming approval, and promises or a contract that is made, or an invitation, followed by withdrawal of approval and -- above all -- gradually increasing demands on your time, energy and/or money.. You have great talents you didn't know about, but she can help you work on them.The motivation is always some kind of promise, of something that will improve your life, or be helpful to you (or your loved ones) in some way. The one who has the answers to why you always felt different, left out or just something a little bit off in your life. Then you can work with her to help people that are in trouble.You might keep thinking that if you just try hard enough -- if you change your behavior to be the way she wants it to be, if you work hard at the tasks she sets you, if you act, speak, think just the way she wants, that the "good" person -- the one you knew at first, your friend, will come back.You think everything will be fine if you can just hang on through the rough times.

Or where they ask you to blame and criticize yourself.

In all that I'm about to say here, I'll use an individual example, and I'll say "she" but there are plenty of men who do this too. She knows lots of things about you that you didn't know yourself. Maybe she invites you to move in with her for a few weeks/months. Watch out for double binds, like telling you you have to have more self-esteem and then when you do they slap you down for arrogance.

All this applies to individuals and groups (a good general example might be the Landmark Forum (Landmark Education), or the I AM activity and Clare Prophet's group). She can help you find a job and you can work on your novel. First she's all affectionate and friendly toward you but then as time goes on she becomes cold and demanding of your time and especially $. Watch out for feeling coerced to tell deeply personal things or secrets about yourself -- things that you have never told anyone.

It's never because you might actually have a legitimate reason to feel that way.

These reactions and feelings are part of your natural sense of self-protection and preservation of life, telling you to leave. Never believe anyone who tells you that sense of self-preservation means you are too scared to face the truth about yourself -- or that you are blocking, defensive, or any of the other things they might say to shame you into going along with their program for your "improvement." Even if it's in a program that has legit features or has worked for others, these feelings indicate that it is not going to work for you no matter how much you try.

Or where they ask you to blame and criticize yourself.In all that I'm about to say here, I'll use an individual example, and I'll say "she" but there are plenty of men who do this too. She knows lots of things about you that you didn't know yourself. Maybe she invites you to move in with her for a few weeks/months. Watch out for double binds, like telling you you have to have more self-esteem and then when you do they slap you down for arrogance.All this applies to individuals and groups (a good general example might be the Landmark Forum (Landmark Education), or the I AM activity and Clare Prophet's group). She can help you find a job and you can work on your novel. First she's all affectionate and friendly toward you but then as time goes on she becomes cold and demanding of your time and especially $. Watch out for feeling coerced to tell deeply personal things or secrets about yourself -- things that you have never told anyone.It's never because you might actually have a legitimate reason to feel that way.These reactions and feelings are part of your natural sense of self-protection and preservation of life, telling you to leave. Never believe anyone who tells you that sense of self-preservation means you are too scared to face the truth about yourself -- or that you are blocking, defensive, or any of the other things they might say to shame you into going along with their program for your "improvement." Even if it's in a program that has legit features or has worked for others, these feelings indicate that it is not going to work for you no matter how much you try.You do not have to be hypnotized to be affected by trance logic. If you've been up for thirty-six hours praying, saving the universe, trying to "get through", or seeing a 'friend' through a crisis, it will be harder to make rational decisions about other things.